Downtime

Mar 20 2014   1:59PM GMT

The last gasp for social networking?

JimMortleman JimMortleman Profile: JimMortleman

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Care.data
cloak
Facebook
Social networking
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There’s been a lot of hoohah this week about the growth of “anti-social” networking app Cloak – which examines location data from your contacts’ various social networks and warns you if anyone you might want to avoid is nearby, so you can stealthily conceal yourself behind a pillar, tablet computer, newspaper with torn-out eyeholes or similar. 
Founder Chris Baker reckons social has passed its peak and anti-social is where it’s at. So here at Downtime, we’ve been trying to come up with our own “killer” anti-social app that might make us similarly stinking rich. 
How about Dagger – which allows you to stab friends and colleagues in the back by anonymously revealing information to their contacts that might set back their social or career advancement? Or Croak – an app that examines your contacts’ ages and any Fitbit data they’ve uploaded to social networks to estimate the odds of them pegging it any time soon? You could even surreptitiously seed a backdoor trojan plug-in that slurps NHS Care.data for added accuracy. 
Even better, what about an app that lets you whip out your smartphone whenever you’re at a pub, restaurant, party (etc) with so-called “friends”, so that instead of actually talking to people you can spend the whole time feigning genuine social interaction with disembodied acquaintences via the mindless pressing of ‘thumbs-up’, ‘like’ or ‘star’ buttons whenever they post details of what they’re having for dinner, pictures of fancy-dressed pets or mawkish inspirational quotations. Oh, hang on…

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