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Microsoft has revealed what it is that Santa Claus himself wants for Christmas. Those who thought the answer would be mince pies and brandy are in for a shock. An automated Santa Internet bot created by Microsoft for its MSN Messenger service has reportedly been chatting to users about oral sex. When asked if he would like some pizza, Santa said, “You want me to eat what? It’s fun to talk about oral sex,” later telling the MSN Messenger user, “I think you’re a dirty bastard.” Microsoft has apologised for any offence caused by Santa, and has withdrawn the bot. The Santa bot has since been invited to give a series of lectures at the Oxford Union Debating Society on the subject of internet etiquette.