acronymnym – a redundancy created by following an acronym
with the final word of that acronym, like DNS server.
adminisphere – organizational levels on the business side.
alpha geek – the most knowledgeable, technically proficient person
in an office or work group.
analog-retentive – those people who obstinately cling to
AlzIMers – forgetting who you’re talking to and typing in the
wrong IM window.
animousity – vigorously clicking your pointer device because
a page is loading too slowly. See also: screen spasm – pages that try to load
simultaneously on your computer screen as a direct result of your animousity.
AOL-WOL – disappearing from an IM conversation without notice.
backronym – an IT term whose letters once had no meaning, but
have since come to stand for something-or-other.
bee break – the act of sneaking off to the bathroom in the middle of
dinner, concert or work to scroll through your BlackBerry.
blamestorming – sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline
was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
Bluetooth fairy – someone who walks around with a blinking Bluetooth
headset permanently affixed to his ear.
blurker – someone who reads a blog or blogs regularly but never
comments or contributes to the discussion.
cache issue – all-purpose explanation for a tech-support problem with no obvious cause
cellphonic appraisal – the activity that occurs when a vibrating cell phone
buzzes, causing everyone in the room to check and see if it’s theirs.
crapplet – a poorly written or totally useless Java applet.
cinderellaware – software (demo or shareware) which becomes
useless after a trial period unless the user pays for and registers it.
cube farm – an office filled with cubicles.
cyberchondriacs – people who continually uses the Internet to
cylences – long gaps in a phone conversation that occur because
one person is also reading e-mail, IMing or cybershopping.
dopeler effect – the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
when they come at you rapidly.
dot gone – pre-Internet bubble bust startup
cellopain – the person who talks loudly and obliviously on a
cellphone in a crowd.
CrackBerry – slang for BlackBerry, often used in the sense
of a “CrackBerry addict,” or one who is always checking and responding to emails
on the handheld device.
deer market – It’s not a bear market, it’s not a bull market. It’s
when VCs are indecisive and act like deer caught in the headlights.
deja moo – The nagging feeling that you’ve heard this bull before
e-dundancy – sending someone an e-mail at the same time you’re
having an IM conversation with them.
egosurf – to search for yourself on Google or another search engine
e-mailsculation – what happens when the IT department abruptly
takes away access to an email account from a worker that’s been fired, including
archives, distribution lists and contacts.
execuglide – to maneuver oneself around the room while seated
in a wheeled office chair.
fam-spam – unsolicited email sent by family members.
faxcess – having access to a fax machine.
faxcination – staring intently at the fax machine because you’re
waiting for a fax to come through.
fonesia – the affliction that strikes when you dial a phone number
and forget whom you were calling just as they answer.
fUtility – a 3rd party utility that won’t install no matter how closely
one follows the instructions.
gadaboutag – the orphan HTML tag that’s messing up your page.
gleemail – inspirational emails forwarded by a friend or coworker that
may or may not bring joy to your inbox.
GMOOT – short for “Get me one of those,” the basic command from
CEOs to CMOs or CMOs to their agencies.
id10t error – help desk log lingo for clueless end-user.
IMdecision – repeatedly erasing an IM text box because you change
your mind about what you want to say.
IMglish – the combination of chat abbreviations and online slang
commonly encountered in instant messages conversations.
multi-asking – communicating with someone through IM, phone
or e-mail at the same time. See also: e-dundancy.
Macrimination – the automatic assumption that whatever is wrong is
caused by the Mac on the network.
negabytes per second (NBps) – a measure of data transfer that seems
so slow it can only be assumed to be flowing backwards.
ohnosecond – that very short moment in time during which you realize
that you have pressed the wrong key and deleted hours, days, or weeks of work.
oxoxomoron – a person who includes symbolic “hugs and kisses” at the
end of their e-mail.
pebcak – help desk lingo for user error (problem exists between chair
percussive maintenance – the fine art of whacking the crap of of an
electronic device to get it to work again.
phenomenot – the Latest, Greatest, wizz-bang whatever that’s not
what it’s proclaimed to be.
phenomenut – the guy who runs right out and buys phenomenots.
picnic – problem in chair, not in computer
prairiedogged – the feeling of helplessness that overtakes you when
co-workers in neighboring cubicles constantly pop their heads up to ask you stupid questions.
Questfallen – reaction to the realization that your MapQuest
directions have failed you.
random excess memory – memory you were talked into buying in order
to solve some problem that never did get resolved.
reBay – to buy something on eBay and immediately put it back up
screenager – an intern in the IT department.
regurgimailer – someone who forwards whatever that lands in his inbox
to everyone he knows .
screensucking – wasting time engaging with any screen, including
computer monitor, video game, television, BlackBerry, Palm, cell phone or iPod
spamouflage – an intentional typo, such as Vikagra, used by spammers
to fool spam filters.
spammified – when an email ends up in the spam folder by mistake.
telamnesia – a condition where an individual is restricted to only talking
to people on speed-dial or his cell phone contact list.
treeware – documents made out of paper, as opposed to electronic documents.
wandal – someone who vandalizes a wiki, participating in “wandalism.”
WAPathy – lack of interest in wireless technology.
wikiality – reality as defined by consensus, rather than analysis of objective fact.
(Coined by Stephen Colbert)
zen mail – an e-mail message that arrives without text in the message body.