I figured out my problem.
I'm ashamed to admit that the solution was rather simple, but I think my Google search keywords were bad
I hadnt set the server to allow remote connections : /
This can be done by running surface area configuration (Start » Programs » Microsoft SQL Server 2005 » Configuration Tools) and going to configuration for services and connections, and then under remote connections selecting local and remote connections.
Could have sworn I had this enabled but what ever
If you are using the IP Address to connect to the SQL Server you don’t need to include the server name. Just use the IP Address.
but this Dosen’t work either….