humor

Sep 30 2009   12:33PM GMT

Heard in passing - IT Trenches support at its finest

Posted by: Troy Tate
humor, network performance, education, network support, user education

Okay - if you support networks and have to explain why the network is slow or application performance is not what the users expect, why not use some of the following responses? These statements may or may not have been used in real life. What responses have you given to users when there really wasn’t a problem?

• Unfortunately we have run out of bits/bytes. Don’t worry, the next supply will be coming next week.
• The routing tables are all filled. There is going to be at least a 15-20 minute wait until you can be seated.
• Those packets have to go uphill to their destination. Gravity impacts network performance when you access services at that location.
• That is due to a BNC error. (i.e. brain not connected)
• The developer used a spell checker on that program. The fix will be delayed.
• The parallel processors are running perpendicular today.

Maybe a smile came to your face today while reading this. Maybe you have some similar comments to share with ITKE readers. Feel free to leave some words of wisdom for other IT Trenches members.

Thanks for reading & let’s continue to be good network citizens.

Mar 13 2009   6:25PM GMT

Friday fun - keyboards for blondes, Polacks, Aggies… hmmm… and me?

Posted by: Troy Tate
humor, keyboard, joke, equipment, product

Please don’t take this wrong but I think this is a very funny product. It is directed towards blondes, hence the pink color, but pick your favorite “intellectually challenged” individual (e.g. Aggie if you are a Texan like me) and it could be the best thing to get them for their birthday, anniversary or other gift giving occasion. Maybe the American Blonde Association of America will release this for use by other populations.

It’s the Keyboard For Blondes.

Some of the function keys include:

NO! - formerly known as ESC

WARNING! Size XXL letters - CAPS lock

Smart Blonde Button - Shift

THE BIG ONE: “I need my space” key - spacebar

OOPS! - Backspace

Way Up - Page Up

Way Down - Page Down

Hope this gets you laughing and maybe enjoying your work more thinking about creative key renaming.

Have a great Friday and thanks for reading!

Jul 10 2008   7:46PM GMT

Ten ways to realize your Internet connection is a little slow

Posted by: Troy Tate
Browsers, internet, humor

- Text on Web pages display as Morse Code.
- Graphics arrive via FedEx.
- You believe a heavier string might improve your throughput
- You post a message to your favorite Newsgroup and it displays a week later.
- Your credit card expires while ordering on-line.

- Playboy web site exhibits “Playmate of the year”…for 1994.
- You’re still in the middle of downloading that popular new game, “Pong”.
- Everyone you talk to on the ‘net phone’ sounds like Forrest Gump.
- You receive e-mails with postage due on them.

- You click the “Send” button, a little door opens on the side of your monitor and a pigeon flies out.

Jun 3 2008   1:26PM GMT

Troubleshooting humor for the day - engineer, systems analyst & programmer

Posted by: Troy Tate
administration, forensics, CIO, humor, troubleshooting, research

Quick Stop

A computer engineer, a systems analyst, and a programmer were driving down a mountain when the brakes failed. They screamed down the mountain, gaining speed, and finally managed to grind to a halt, more by luck than anything else, just inches from a thousand foot drop to jagged rocks. They all got out of the car.

The computer engineer said, “I think I can fix it.”

The systems analyst said, “No, I think we should take it into town and have a specialist look at it.”

The programmer said, “Okay, but first I think we should get back in and see if it does it again.”

Thanks to Arcamax Publishing for this content.

May 31 2008   2:28AM GMT

Did you see this? - Noticebored - Infosec Awareness Education

Posted by: Troy Tate
forensics, Security, Monitoring, IT education, antivirus, Data security, malware, wiki, Policy, blogging, humor, anti-virus, honeypot, botnet, online identity, Metrics, honeynet, research, policy enforcement, awareness

Noticebored is a great resource for information security awareness. The blogs are timely and cover a great spectrum of topics with regards to this important topic.

Thanks for your time. Let’s be good network citizens together & practice safe networking!

May 9 2008   12:51PM GMT

Did you see this? - the viral bitgirl

Posted by: Troy Tate
Networking, forensics, tools, Monitoring, reporting, WAN, LAN, humor, troubleshooting, Performance, howto, network analysis, Metrics, wireshark, packet capture

I have always had an appreciation for Laura Chappel of www.packet-level.com fame and her quirky sense of … hmmmmm.. sense?? hahaha… well… she does have a great sense of humor and a heightened sense of awareness with respect to those bits and bytes flowing across our wired and wireless networks.

Laura Chappell has now gone viral after her “initial concern about being somewhat infectious”. She has launched the BitSpitters video series - fast answers to fast questions. The BitSpitters videos are hosted on YouTube right now - feel free to link to her BitSpitters page at www.wiresharktraining.com/bitspitters.html to always get the latest. After seeing the initial response from viewers, it seems more folks are interested in the humorous “How Do I Look Smarterest?” style so according to her recent Wireshark U newsletter she will be putting out some more ‘unique’ short videos for your viewing pleasure - and her newsletter has the following warning: “just wait until you see the ‘beach scene’ coming up! [Don't even get that 'bathing suit' thought in your head!]“

In case you want more packet level and data networking education, I HIGHLY recommend her Master Library which you can purchase through WiresharkU. For a short time only, she is offering an dditional 50% off already discounted price. Coupon code: NLMAY Expiry: May 31, 2008.

Thanks for your time. Let’s be good network citizens together & practice safe networking!