Heard in passing - IT Trenches support at its finest

Okay - if you support networks and have to explain why the network is slow or application performance is not what the users expect, why not use some of the following responses? These statements may or may not have been used in real life. What responses have you given to users when there really wasn’t a problem?

• Unfortunately we have run out of bits/bytes. Don’t worry, the next supply will be coming next week.
• The routing tables are all filled. There is going to be at least a 15-20 minute wait until you can be seated.
• Those packets have to go uphill to their destination. Gravity impacts network performance when you access services at that location.
• That is due to a BNC error. (i.e. brain not connected)
• The developer used a spell checker on that program. The fix will be delayed.
• The parallel processors are running perpendicular today.

Maybe a smile came to your face today while reading this. Maybe you have some similar comments to share with ITKE readers. Feel free to leave some words of wisdom for other IT Trenches members.

Thanks for reading & let’s continue to be good network citizens.