Please rate our interview process on a scale one to five

“Revenge is wicked, and unchristian and in every way unbecoming…(But it is powerful sweet, anyway)” Twain

All those recruiters, interviewers, HR personnel, team leads, managers, and evil receptionists we deal with in the job market are the ones standing between us and a regular paycheck. Let’s rate them!

If justice prevails in the world of the working stiff, then I’m looking for one of these in my inbox any day now:

Dear Mark,
We want to hear about your recent interview experience. Your feedback is valuable to us, as it will help us decide whether to continue talking to applicants, or simply post all future resumes on Twitter for us to Tweet.

Use the scale of One to Five, with “1” being the most degrading, and “5” being, well, Better:

Please Rate the comfort of the chairs in the conference room:
1) Stonehenge 3) Tire Swing 5) Aunt Bee’s lap

Please Rate the appeal of our workplace:
1) Bagdad 3) Scranton 5) Playboy Mansion

Please Rate our Job Website experience:
1) Spam 3) Blue Screen 5) Star Wars

Please Rate the sincerity of our employees:
1) Ryan Seacrest 3) Shoe Salesman 5) The IRS

Please describe your response to the interview in the following ways:

Expecting a follow up phone call ___Yes ___No ___I wasn’t born yesterday

Willing to work for bread and water ___Yes ___No ___Butter or Margarine?

Felt queasy on the drive home ___Yes ___No ___Bean Burrito not helpful

— Finally—
Please tell us about the interview process, sharing all your thoughts and feelings, and put it all in haiku form:

Um, OK

For thirty minutes
You held my life in your hand
While sipping coffee

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