Win XP SP3 to ship tomorrow, no today, wait May 15 … and other headlines we’d like to write

April Fools Day gives reporters a chance to write the faux headlines they would like to craft but can’t. At least for real

Here are the top creations from the SearchITChannel staff.

Gartner recommends using more acronyms

Microsoft changes gears, embraces open source

CompTIA offers new certification in undersea IT

Google Earth shows iPods, Macs in Gates mansion

Ballmer seen jogging with Apple T-shirt, hastily removed

Dell backs up partner-friendly meme, cans entire sales staff

Vendors clamor aboard “Service as a Service” bandwagon

VMware names Jamiroquai new CEO

Dueling Cisco/Microsoft unified communications plans to connect devices and people that, frankly, should never be connected. To anything. Ever.

Oracle to rely almost exclusively on channel to serve businesses with exactly 47.3 employees

Prospective Microsoft Gold VAR peruses program qualifications, opts for early retirement

Red Hat partner finds pigeon, er customer, willing to pay for free stuff

Windows XP SP3 to ship tomorrow, no today, no June 1, no May 15, wait! next year! oh never mind …

Microsoft code-name generator on the fritz, trade press freaks

The first five are courtesy of Matthew Donnelly, who’s clearly given this a lot of thought. Numbers six and seven come from Yuval Shavit–and he nails the whole hyped “as a service” meme. Rivka Little tossed off the Cisco jibe. The Jamiroquai item comes courtesy of Colin Steele, and yes, oldsters will probably have to Google this reference.

Barbara Darrow can be reached at bdarrow@techtarget.com.