I get a lot of press releases every day, and most go straight into the deleted items folder. There are only two ways to avoid this fate: send me a press release with some really big news, or send me a press release that’s so ridonkulous that I have to blog about it.
A press release I received Monday fell squarely into the latter category. It came from a PR firm I’ve never heard of, and it offered three money-making tips for “people that are internet savvy and in-between jobs.”
The first tip suggested breaking into the music industry, which is clearly a piece of cake. Just ask any Los Angeles bartender.
I’m not completely sure what the convoluted second tip was, but I think it had something to do with starting an online company with a bunch of strangers in just a matter of days.
Then came the third tip. And I quote:
Look for companies that offer reseller programs. Several IT companies offer programs were people receive money for “reselling” their product. … Anyone who sales their product gets paid. The reseller program is pretty simple, you sell product you get paid. You can sell … to you Aunt, uncle, sister, the local coffee shop down the street, HP, anyone.
How can anyone simplify the role of a reseller so much? In this economy, even some established resellers who have experience providing value-added services say their sales are “as slow as molasses.” Anyone who thinks they can just sign up with a vendor and start making sales with nothing more than their “Internet savvy” will quickly find themselves back “in-between jobs.”
Despite the utter absurdity of this email, it did give me one real job idea: “Become a copy editor for terrible press releases.”