Perfection is where you find it, even while diving out of a flaming motor home

The channel angle on this story is (ahem) thin. But in the interest of keeping readers informed of remarkable accomplishments being discussed online, we present the most perfect lead sentence to a news story ever: 

Lodi News – A jazz musician was injured Friday after jumping from a burning motor home driven by a one-time roller skating stripper from Lodi.  

The reality, unfortunately, is less interesting than the facts, despite the exclusion from the lead of information that would have further strained the reader’s credulity (the one-time roller-skating stripper was male), or shattered it completely (alcohol was not a factor).Still, it has potential. We see it as a gender-bending buddy movie directed by John Waters, with Johnny Depp as the jazz musician and Will Farrell as the roller-skating stripper driving the flaming RV.